Inspiration Content

Are you ready for a change? Is it time for those plans that you've been thinking about for so long? Now is a good time for making plans, for lifestyle changes, starting over, finding new directions and developing as a human being. Now is a very good time for creating your own personal lifestyle and a life that you have chosen to live.

Let there always be cross-roads!
Let me tell you what I think about cross-roads. There will always be new cross-roads. And I really hope they will be many. How boring life would be if there weren't any new directions to choose. We would just be walking straight ahead and never find out what else there is to know. We would never discover the narrow paths that lead into something new and unexplored. If we always choose the straight long road we will not develop as human beings. We will not realize all the qualities and possibilities that we all possess.

Some cross-roads can be tough on us. We can be forced to change directions. Something happens unexpectedly and we move into a crisis. This will happen to us all sooner or later. The changes that we choose consciously are "better" than the ones that hurt, of course. But we develop and grow as a result of both.

I have experienced both kinds of cross-roads. I have lost near and dear ones, and I had no choice but to see it happen. I have also made choices of my own - choices that have changed my life in many ways.

By making conscious choices we are able to make positive lifestyle changes. Instead of letting things happen we can take control. We have the power to make changes.

I would like to encourage you in your decision to build something new, something better! I want to inspire you to see the possibilities, and I am convinced that you have the power to make positive changes in your life. It�s a choice. You can build a better life! You have the possibilities and the power to make positive lifestyle changes. No one else can make the right choices for your life. But you can.

It's time to start feeling better! You deserve it! Reduce stress, start exercising, change career, or lea something new and different for your own personal development. Start today by taking that first step to a more fulfilling lifestyle!

Remember: The only ones that never fail are the ones that never try.

About The Author

Ingela Berger started her own Inteet business Lifestyle Plans in 2003 out of a desire to inspire and encourage others to make reality of their dreams of a personal, healthy and fulfilling lifestyle. Ingela has studied theatre directing, acting, history of art, history of ideas, health communication and leadership psychology. After some years working with art exhibitions and the theatre she went back to college and is now a health and lifestyle consultant.

Inordinately fond of history as I am, I�ve decided to write about it. Not about my first love--from an historical perspective, I mean--Medieval European History, or my second love, Russian History. Not even about the bloodiest day in American History, the Civil War Battle of Antietam, which should have brought the Union cause close to victory, but, due to incomprehensible blundering, ended in a strategic draw, breathing two more years of life, at least, into Lee�s Army of Northe Virginia. No, the history I want to write about is microhistory, i.e., MY history. Specifically, I wish to analyze, evaluate and discuss my recent struggle with cancer, and its meaning and consequences, if such may be found in that experience.

The B.C. to which the title refers is Before Cancer (or Before Chemo, if you like) and the A.D. stands for After Deconstruction. Those concepts and their respective meanings will take up the bulk of this essay.

But first, the salient facts: on February 28, 2005, just after my family�s retu from a ski trip in Lake Tahoe, I woke up at about 2:00 a.m. with an unstoppable case of the hiccups, followed by an attack of almost unbearable abdominal pain. An ambulance took me to the emergency room at Lenox Hill Hospital, where the doctors diagnosed a �perforation or hole in my stomach,� perhaps caused by an ulcer. They needed to operate immediately in order to save my life, but hoped that the surgery could be done laproscopically, so as to be minimally invasive. As the anesthesia was administered (for which I was deeply grateful), I could not have known that everything up to that point was, for me, B.C.

A day or two later (my memory is still somewhat hazy on the chronology of this period), when I was still heavily drugged, but able to speak and concentrate, I was told what the rest of my family already knew: that I had a poorly differentiated stomach cancer, known as linitus plastica, a cancer which, oddly enough, is more common in the young, and most prevalent in Japan. The cancer had been removed, as had my lymph nodes, and the lab testing was underway, with the results to be forthcoming in a few days. Just a few years earlier, my beloved father-in-law had died of stomach cancer, so I suppose I could be forgiven for some lack of optimism at that moment.

My recovery from the surgery (which was not only non-laproscopic, but required, in fact, the removal of every millimeter of my stomach, and the attachment of my esophagus directly to my intestines) was surprisingly quick and quite satisfactory, but as I was about to be discharged from the Hospital, my surgeon informed me that the lab work had confirmed his worst fears: that the cancer had infiltrated my lymph nodes and that, although he had removed all of them, the chances of metasticization were great. He informed me that my life expectancy without treatment was about three months, and that, with aggressive treatment, I might make it for as much as two years (although he had rarely seen that). In so many words, he suggested that I put my affairs in order and prepare myself emotionally for the jouey from which there is no retu (with all due respect to my believing Christian brethren, even He whom they believe DID retu, stayed only for a short visit).

This conversation with my surgeon marked the beginning of my A.D. experience. It is an experience, I expect, more or less common to anyone who has been told that he or she has a fatal disease, and it forces one to contemplate not only death (indeed, for me, that was the easy part), but more importantly, a world and a future, in which he or she will have no part. Suddenly, and without waing, I found myself crying. Not about dying. Not about suffering. Somehow, those things did not seem real, or tangible, or even important to me. But rather, what I found devastating was the prospect of not being able to visit colleges with my younger daughter, as I had done with my older one; of not being able to dance (and, as importantly for me, to pontificate) at my daughters� weddings; of not being able to attend my nephew�s Bar Mitzvah in Israel (then ten months in the future). And finally, of not being able to visit all those places all over the world which my wife and I had promised one another we would get to someday.

All of these considerations are deconstructing, to be sure. The prospects I mentioned were daunting to face, but, oddly enough, strangely liberating at the same time. Everyone�my friends, family, colleagues and law partners told me not to worry about anything, other than getting well. I seized onto that and instantly felt freed from the shackles of my career, the need to pursue professional success and ea money (I was, later on, to pay dearly for this extended holiday from reality). My wife and I, together with my brother-in-law, who had (God bless him) flown in from Israel at the drop of a hat and a few close friends, had begun some surreal discussions of emergency estate planning, including the desirability of an immediate sale of our home, the creation of various insurance trusts, and the like. My older daughter had been asked to fly home from college without being told why. My younger daughter, not generally being given to displays of emotion had, I was told, been crying into her pillow for several nights straight. My wife put up a brave front�she is, after all, an Israeli�but was plainly devastated. The rest of my family members, my mother, brother, sister, aunt, cousins, together with my family, by marriage, in Israel and their respective families, reacted as one would expect: with varying degrees of worry, disbelief and fear.

In the meantime, I was, mercifully, functioning on a copious supply of opiates, to deaden the post-surgical pain. It worked some benefit on my psychic pain, as well, and I was able, through the haze, to become inured to the idea that I was about to embark upon a fight for my life in which, it seemed at the time, I was unlikely to prevail.

People visited me both at the hospital, and later, during my convalescence at home, in droves. I simply do not know how I could have coped without the support of my family and friends, both here and in Israel, and in particular, the support of friends and people whom I took to be mere acquaintances from my synagogue, Kehilath Jeshurun, in New York, together with its professional staff of Rabbis and others who visited, called, wrote and prayed for me. Cousins in Chicago sent out e-mails to their yeshiva friends to put my Hebrew name on their mi-shebeirach (prayer for the sick) list, and my daughter�s Chabad Rabbi in Buffalo, together with my own Rabbi in New York, Haskel Lookstein, still pray for me regularly. I cannot even imagine how anyone gets through an experience like this alone, yet I know that people do. Part of the deconstructing experience was the realization, not only of how much I meant to people, in a way of which I was completely unaware, but of how much they meant, and still mean, to me. The support of this myriad of people has had a salutary effect on me, in that I try to take friends and family less for granted.

After much research, both by me, and by friends and family members, I began to interview oncologists, and narrowed the field down to two. Both reviewed my files and ran tests on me and, to my surprise, and immeasurable relief, advised me of their strong disagreement with my surgeon�s prognosis. They agreed that, although my type of cancer was serious and, indeed, life-threatening, the surgery, coupled with an aggressive treatment of chemotherapy and radiation gave me good reason to hope for a complete recovery. After deconstruction comes reconstruction. I underwent the recommended treatments, and, 14 months A.D., am, as far as my tests can determine, cancer-free. I attended my nephew�s Bar Mitzvah in Israel this past January, and have taken my daughter to various college visits. As to whether I will dance at my daughters� weddings, or take the �Grand Tour� of the World with my wife, well, that�s very much in God�s hands, on a great many levels. I do not, and cannot know whether I have beaten this thing, but I do know that if there is more adversity to come from this disease, that I mean to go down fighting.

The difficulty now, lies not only in being vigilant about a retu of my disease. That is, of course, self-evident. The trick is to take from this experience the lessons it has afforded me about priorities, and to live those lessons. Easier said than done. The path of least resistance, of course, now that the immediate threat has receded, is to go back to old pattes of B.C. thinking, which focused on making money and engaging in material pursuits: A nice house, nice car, nice clothes, expensive vacations, etc. My personal relationships, B.C. were certainly important to me, but as much (I am somewhat embarrassed to say) out of a chronic and childish need to be loved, admired and approved of, as out of more altruistic motivations. A.D., I still like nice material things. If anything, I am now more interested in nice clothing as, at 165 lbs., (80 lbs. less than my all-time high) I have the physical attributes to look much better than before in off-the-rack outfits. But I would like to think that my love of things material is somewhat more in perspective now. I approach those desires more in a carpe diem sort of way, than as goals in and of themselves. As for my personal relationships, I try to appreciate my family and friends more. I do not always succeed, as my wife, above all, will attest to. Reconstruction, after all, (particularly MY reconstruction) is very much a �work in progress.� But I keep in touch (e-mail makes that extremely easy), and have grown much closer to some people whom I have known for most of my life. I find myself in the synagogue on a daily basis. Many around me don�t understand what they see as something of an obsession, but for me, it suffices that I understand; I NEED to have a daily conversation with the Almighty, both to thank him for my recovery to date, and to ask for its continuation. Moreover, it is a mechanism for seeking the well-being of my family, my friends, the Jewish People, my Country, the State of Israel and humankind, all of which have now seemingly become infinitely more important to me. I don�t know of anywhere else where one can hope (or dare) to place so tall an order.

I am working hard to rebuild my professional life. My illness and resultant inability (or unwillingness) to focus much on being a lawyer for the better part of Year 1, A.D., cost me, and I need to redouble my efforts just to get back to where I was. I mean to do that, and quite a bit more. Luckily, I have recently joined a firm, in which a number of the partners are old friends, supportive, professional, and understanding. I have no doubt that I will land on my feet. Also, luckily, I am very good (I apologize for the immodesty, but this is truth time) at what I do. My clients, and potential clients will be well-served by me, and will be lucky to have me representing them.

So, can cancer actually be good for you? It seems a flippant, and ultimately, perhaps, a stupid question. But the answer, I think, is that it can be, provided, of course, that it�s the kind you can recover from. That�s obvious. What is less obvious is the beneficial qualities of the lesson or lessons one can take from such an experience. I can attest, of course, only to my own experiences. I now celebrate a second �birthday� on February 28, the dividing line between B.C. and A.D.

Even the most fleeting glimpse of the Angel of Death can teach us something about priorities, if we are observant enough to lea the lesson, and are wise enough to �walk the walk� on an ongoing basis. May God grant me both the strength and the perspective.

Warren R. Graham

Copyright 2006

Warren R. Graham is a New York attoey with the Firm of Cohen Tauber Spievack & Wagner LLP. He is a frequent writer on a variety of topics, including legal matters, political and religious affairs. His opinions are his own and do not necessarily reflect the views of his firm or its members. Additional information on him may be found at http://warrenrgraham.blogspot.com

"Will not the Judge of all the earth do right?" (Genesis 18:25).

We have all encountered what we feel is injustice. We only perceive what is happening at this moment, and that is colored by our own prejudices. God works in the whole of human history--past, present and future--so what we see or feel happening right at this moment that seems so outrageous and unethical is set in a panorama of sacred history. It helps so much to remember this.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above" (James 1:17). God originates good and controls evil, and that is the essence of His justice. We could go insane--indeed, some do--if we didn't believe that somewhere there is ultimate impartiality. "When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive to me till I entered the sanctuary of God; then I understood their final destiny" (Psalm 73:16,17). Only God knows the end from the beginning.

He understands because He experienced the greatest injustice on earth. Still He could say, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing" (Luke 23:34). Perhaps this is the most ethical utterance made by Man for man. It certainly spotlights man's inhumanity to man. Yes, Father, forgive them...and forgive us, too.

"The Lord is a God who knows and by him deeds are weighed" (1 Samuel 2:3b). Only God can possibly know motives, a knowledge necessary for honorable judgment. "The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good" (Proverbs 15:3). Since we can't be everywhere and see everything, it is best that we leave the judging to God. He is holy and therefore incapable of judging from any wrong reason or rule. Our righteous God is farsighted and sees all, while we are so nearsighted, so spiritually myopic, that all we see is what is happening right now and its seeming unfaiess.

Oh my God, I'm not immortal anymore! What happened? Where's my neverending youth? My long summers? My bright future?

Gone, gone, and... wait a minute, there's still future left!

Repeat after me:

I refuse to fall over and let the wagons pass me by on this dusty trail through life, so I'm going to hop up, brush off the dirt and get going! I can still catch an exciting ride and spend some great time with interesting folks who share this long, winding trail.

Sometimes I get confused, with no focus, no specific goal. I find my time being wasted by bad little habits. I can empty my pockets of all those time-wasters and let them fly in the breeze like bits of useless paper. They'll drop and be forgotten, trampled by wagon wheel and hoof. Ground back into the dust where they belong, nevermore to travel with me.

I'll look ahead with optimism. I'll lea to adapt. I'll ride INTO the possibilities of the future, not UNDER the uncertainties of today.

I have time to see my dreams come true, time to make them real. I can see the horizon, the destination of the sun, the vastness of my life ahead. So much land I can cover, so many places to go.

I will move in sync with time. It will never pass me by. My heart will beat as the seconds tick, and my wheels will roll as hands of time tu. Time to do, time to be, time to see.

Some things will pass, others will remain. I remain, and while I remain I will try things that no one else has tried, do things people say I can't do. Succeed in ways I was told I couldn't succeed.

All is not lost. Nothing is gone except my fear and uncertainty. Those are the things I do not need. I shed them off and settle into the saddle of my life, in control of my tus and my steps.

I pull my hat down to shelter my eyes from the setting sun, not setting on my life, but illuminating the trail ahead, preparing the way.

Shining on my future.

My future's so bright, I gotta wear shades.

Drew Vics

Drew Vics is an artist, writer and musician living in New Jersey. He writes for Myeyez.net -- A Webzine, part time, and released a self produced debut CD, No more waiting.

My eldest son phoned me the other night to let me know that he and his partner was going to have a baby. When I got the news, I was more excited then he was. He seems to be in a state of shock trying to come to grips with the can of worms that had just opened.

For me the news was a mix of joy and a realization that time was catching up with me and that the *financial* success I have crave for, for so long is still a dream. I, like so many others out there are looking for that pot of gold to make life more comfortable. I use to consider *money* as a gauge to determine my success in life. I and like many of you; have tried over and over again to increase my eaings to provide a better life style for my children. I was determined not to grow up like my parents, always struggling.

Don�t get me wrong, I had I good childhood except I never saw much of my dad. He was always working. I did not realize until I had my own kids the reason he worked so hard. When Justin was bo, I made a personal commitment to provide my children with the quality time that I missed with my dad and at the same time tried to be a financial success.

My wife Tracee and I have seven children, three boys and four girls. We agree early in our relationship that I would be the main bread winner and she would stay home and care for the children. As the kids were growing up, we would encourage them to play sports and I would help coach their team. This would give me the opportunity to spend more time with them.

My pursuit for financial success still eluded me; I have tried nearly everything to be rich. I have tried most of them and still going through the process. It did not occur to me until recently that the efforts I put in raising my children had produced its rewards. My kids are well adjusted, they are healthy. Justin is going to be a dad at the age of 25, when he was bo when I was 20. Jasmin, the eldest daughter is a school teacher. Ashley, my number two son has just settle into an apprenticeship as a panel beater. Sharee, who had just tued eighteen, is a free spirit. She has a job but no ambition, nothing seems to faze her and I worry about her a bit. The other three children, Alysha, sixteen, Crystal, fourteen and Jordan who is our baby boy will tu twelve in September.

I now look at success with different eyes, I might not be rich when it comes to money but I am very rich and very successful and I am going to be a granddad. Hoo! Hoo! Life is wonderful.

Copyright 2005 Nasri Bale

Nasri Bale, novice writer and father of seven children would like to share his life experiences he has had with his kids. He hopes that the articles will touch and inspire, also to let other dads know that they are not alone. You can contact me at, nazri04@hotmail.com

"Now do it!" (2 Samuel 3:18); "Do not leave any of it till moing ..." (Exodus 12:10).

Putting off duties is a shortcoming that brings us up short of the perfection God wants of us. Emerson wrote in his Jouals (1834), "We are always getting ready to live, but never living." Perhaps we can amend that to, "We are always getting ready to work, but seldom getting to work." "Eventually" never becomes "actually" and the sweet by-and-by becomes the bitter never. Procrastination is not only a thief of time but finally a thief of self-respect and a robber of the good we can do for others, as well.

At thirty, man suspects himself a fool;
Knows it at forty, and reforms his plan;
At fifty chides his infamous delay;
Pushes his prudent purpose to resolve;
In all magnanimity of thought
Resolves, and re-resolves; then dies the same.
Edward Young.

Procrastination is a killer of time and motivation. It borrows on tomorrow's time. Today is yesterday's tomorrow, and we are not guaranteed tomorrow. When we are inspired to do what we need to do, then we can't waste a minute of irreplaceable time in getting on with what we need to do, while we have time and health to do it. We have many unwarranted reasons to put off what God wants of us, too. Felix told Paul, "Go away for the present, and when I find time, I will summon you" (Acts 24:25). There is no record of Felix ever finding the time to summon Paul!

John Ruskin is said to have taken for his great life-motto the simple word, "Today." In his library he had before him the text, "Work, while it is yet called today." There is a time for everything and it is indeed today, while we have the Light. "The wise heart will know the proper time and procedure, for there is a proper time and procedure for every matter..." Ecclesiastes 8:5,6. We are to redeem God's irredeemable time: "Be very careful, then, how you live -- not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil" (Ephesians 4:15,16)

I remember when I was just a little guy probably about 4 or 5 years old, I was fascinated by snakes. Not any particular type of snake � just snakes in general. I remember being really curious about how they could move around so easily without any legs or feet. I remember liking the colors on the garter snakes that slithered through our Nebraska summer garden.

And � I remember one day picking up one of those fascinating garter snakes and holding it right in front of my face so I could get a little better look at the colorful markings on its head. It was at that moment the unthinkable happened. In mere seconds, that wonderful, fascinating creature had transformed itself into a writhing, ferocious monster with a flickering, forked tongue and hypnotic eyes. What happened next? I dropped it, of course. Actually, it may have been more like a toss � that part gets a little blurry. But I got rid of the monster as fast as I could! I let it go!

Obviously, the poor snake didn�t really change into anything different from what it already was. But my perception told me it had, so I reacted to what I saw as a significant problem. I let it go.

Since then, I�ve leaed that �monsters� � real and perceived � come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Most of them we can�t physically see but we do experience the results of their presence � and they are very, very real.

Our monsters have names � common names. Here are a few: Fear, Guilt, Hate, Self-Doubt, Jealousy, Insecurity, and Anger. They�re all slime-balls. They all have the potential power to control our lives and destroy any chance at a truly happy life. Any one of these monsters can freeze us in our tracks and until we recognize it and get it out of the way, we�re not going to be able to move on toward whatever better life we have waiting for us.

OK, do we need to stop for just a minute here? Yes, I just said �whatever better life we have waiting for us�. No, I�m not talking about only a �special, select few� folks who might accidentally be lucky enough to get doused with one of God�s super blessings. I�m referring to everybody who lives in a reasonably free society and has access to at least a smidgeon of printed or verbal information. That would probably include you, huh?

Yes folks, there is a better life waiting �out there� for every one of us. And this is certainly an oversimplification, but basically all we need to do is visualize it � and then do stuff to get us there. Sure, some of that �stuff� will possibly include doing some personal reprogramming of our thought processes (there�s plenty of information available to help do that), getting assistance and guidance from some experts (plenty of that available, too) and some level of investment of our time and energy.

However (speaking of reprogramming), unless we recognize and take care of any monsters that we may be clutching tightly to our bosom, we�re not going much of anywhere � other than maybe sliding backward into our own personal snake pit. Hmmm, wonder why I just used that analogy? Probably a reason in my background somewhere.

Back to the monsters. How do we get rid of �em? The first step is to recognize that we got �em. Makes sense, huh? If we don�t know one of these stinkers is hanging onto us and dragging us down, there certainly won�t be any way for us to get rid of him. Take another look at their names and then take a close look at your thoughts and subsequent actions. See anything that rings a bell? I know, sometimes it�s really hard to have an objective view of ourselves so get an outside opinion or two from someone who you know will be absolutely honest with you.

Then once you�ve identified your own personal monster(s), the next step of course, is to get it (them) off your butt and out of the way. Now there�s no way in the space of this article to talk about the various techniques for �monster slaying�. But here are a few quick helpful hints. One of the things you�ll likely need to do is take a real close look at your thought processes (there�s that danged programming thing again) and lea how to change them. Again, there is a wealth of information available to you to do exactly that. Books, videos, CD�s, self-improvement programs, and personal help in the form of numerous counselors and coaches. It�s all �out there� waiting for you. All you need to do is just go get it.

Part of the modification in your thought processes will probably include leaing how to face � as in �stand up and confront� � your monsters. You may need to dig deep into your better self to find your personal cache of courage that you�ll be using as your ultimate weapon of monster destruction. OK, let�s be a little more honest. You really don�t need to �destroy� these stinkers and I don�t know that it�s even completely possible to do that. What you will need to do though, is at least take away any power that they have had over you in the past. You see, the only way any of these guys can restrain you is if you give them permission (the power) to do so. Withdraw that permission (let �em go�) and they�re about as much threat as a wad of discarded bubble gum.

One way to neutralize a monster is by leaing to know it by a different name. A name that can be much easier for us to manage. For example, with a bit of mental manipulation, Fear can become simply �Apprehension� or �Uncertainty�. It shouldn�t be a major problem being able to handle either one of those guys. Guilt can be transformed into �Regret� or �Disappointment� (as in past perceived misdeeds). Hate can be downgraded into �Dislike� or �Disapproval�. Self-Doubt can become a productive �Self-Questioning��well, you get the idea.

So if you�ve been stuck in a rut and are about ready to climb out and move on toward your better life, be sure to take the time to check your personal mental wardrobe for monsters. Then let �em go � or at least transform them into a less threatening simple irritant - and move on to the life you truly deserve. It really is there waiting for you!

Oh, and the snake? Just another big ole� worm�

About The Author

Gene, through NuPathz.com, provides an easy reading self-help blog, articles and links along with affordable books and materials written to help folks find the road to a more enjoyable lifestyle, to pass on some of life�s �secrets for survival� in a chaotic world & offer a few smiles along the way. It's a down-to-earth, simple approach to discovering a better life. You can visit Gene at http://www.nupathz.com/

gene@nupathz.com